Secrets are Safe
by Pyro Domi Darkflame
Summary: The tale of two lonely hearts brought together only to be torn apart by quick assumptions. How they deal, and how they fall. The past of one Severus Snape, revealed in memories too precious to forget.


Ana Emerson sat in her chair like she was not expecting them, and for all they knew she wasn't. It would make it easier for the surprise attack.

Snape approached with the large group, his mask firmly in place. They had been ordered to capture a young woman at the Hogs Head tonight. Her identity was unknown to all but Lucius Malfoy who had been given the instructions. Snape was marching beside the blond, (of course you couldn't tell he was blond because of the black hood covering his head), his head held high. He would not have to do anything in this attack thankfully. He just had to watch. They came upon the pub and a few shouts and laughs from the group indicated their excitement.

She had actually been expecting them. Who wouldn't? There had been four or five unsuccessful attacks on her house, and now she was out in the open, vulnerable...alone.

She was waiting for them though.

Ana was tired, and the only thing that kept her going, the only thing she had left to do was what she really wanted them for…that and to release her.

She waited as she heard the sound of feet on the wet ground outside.

Lucius stopped just before the pubs entrance and turned to face the group. He pointed at the forms of MacNair and Lestrange,

"Around the back." Next his finger swung to indicate Snape, "You get to come with me. Mask off."

The others already knew that they were to surround the outside of the building, preventing an exit. Snape hesitated only slightly before raising his hand to remove the mask from his face. He was young, just over 22 and his face was not yet drawn and harsh as it would come to be in the next years.

He lowered his hood and allowed himself to take a deep breath. The cloaked man glanced around to see the others already departing to their ordered places for the attack and kidnapping. Lucius was watching him, a horrible smirk on his face,

"I think you might have fun with this one," the blonde told him.

Snape frowned. _What was he going on about? _Lucius did not explain, instead Snape was grabbed by two of the remaining Death Eaters that he had assumed were going to guard the front. They harshly dragged him in to the pub with swift and quiet instructions to keep quiet.

She got up and said the last word of a long, difficult incantation. A shield spell that was until recently long forgotten. She was ready.

Her thoughts were neatly organized as ever. _Everything is in order. I might refuse them a power weapon but I give them the chance to destroy a great enemy. They should find themselves lucky_. She opened the letter and read the letter for the millionth time. If it was to be her last words they should be perfect. Even if she wanted only one person to read them

Lucius was standing before the other three and turned slightly to point his wand at Snape, "**Ana Emerson**." He called out in a firm loud voice. Snape's eyes widened and he swung them around the room looking for the familiar face. There she was. Standing nearly in the center of the pub, with what looked like a shield charm surrounding her and a sheet of parchment in her hand.

Lucius continued, "**Step forward**." he commanded her. Many of the patrons of the club looked up at their entrance and the others glanced up at the words. At the sight of the three hooded Death Eaters and what appeared to be a captured prisoner they all fell silent, some going sickly pale.

She smiled despite herself. _Tonight I am freed._

"Good evening boys...or girls. The masks are troubling enough but I must say your woman can be quite..._butch_."

She hoped they wouldn't notice how faded she looked. Her once blue eyes had grayed and now had a very wearied look. It took most of her strength to ward them off last time and so the shield was not that powerful and if she kept it up for too long the energy expenditure would surely kill her itself.

Her sense of humor had improved over the years. As did her personality around normal people. She had matured a lot. Maybe even too much for a woman of her young age of 21. But at heart she was still the little girl she was that day…that day her whole world went to hell.

"You're late. I have been waiting for almost an hour. I had just about given up and decided that you people were too _afraid_ to come back for this Auror."

Snape tried not pull out of the Death Eaters grasp, If he were to play the hostage he would have been told to do so. He looked over his old friend noticing she looked weaker. Her eyes had faded. She no longer looked the cheerful young girl he knew. He tried not to feel sorry for her. _She had too easily turned against me! She hadn't even thought to ask me what side I was on! She quickly deserted me to become friends with those damned Gryffindors._

"You are going to come with us, Ms. Emerson." He said simply as if asking her to tea. "You will come with us without giving trouble. And you will not fight back. Understood?" Snape stared at the wand inches from his chest and then up at the wand holder himself. _What the bloody hell?_

"I do not believe so. I am running the show here. One word and I can blow this whole place to shrapnel. With all of us in it. But...see...**that** would ruin my plan. I'm giving the orders, boys, so _behave_." she said as calmly as she could. It was true. The shield spell had a deformity - which was the reason it was forgotten. One wrong word and it would send a shockwave both in and out, destroying everything in it's path. But then again, that is why she picked this particular spell.

She stood, but cursed herself as she wobbled a bit. She was tired and very weak. The time had almost come. _But the letter needs to be sent._

"Now, tonight's one night stand will consist of a give and take relationship. You...deliver something for me and I will give you the chance to destroy your worst enemy at the moment.

"Is that agreed boy?" she asked

Lucius' anger was obvious even with his face masked. Snape suppressed a smile. She was a brave one. But what was she up to? Lucius' wand raised to Snape's throat.

"Why would you think we would go by your rules, Emerson? Crucio." Snape's eyes widened in shock as the pain shot through him. His knees buckled beneath him and the two men holding him up let loose their hold allowing his taught body fall to the floor. He did not scream. He refused to. He could not stop, however, his body from curling into a fetal position and his hands from clawing at his own face. Malfoy seemed less angry when he looked back at the Auror.

"Who said we were going to kill you?" He asked in a conversational tone. "We merely wish to take you to our Master. He's been wanting to speak with you, you know."

Severus felt the pain stop immediately but his muscles did not loosen. One of the Death Eaters kicked him and growled for him to get to his feet and he complied. _I'm on your bloody side! Why are you using me as bait? _He glared at Malfoy.

"I didn't say that, Lucius. That mask can hide your face but your stench is...remarkable. I offer this as a...compromise. You either kill me or you get nothing...or you die. I can keep this up all night." she bluffed. She saw him curse one of his own men but she couldn't tell why. _Wait...is that...Severus! No! He wouldn't give in so easily to that scum. He wouldn't let himself be cursed like that…._

"All I want is for you to deliver a letter. Then you can kill me Lucius. You know you want to. I bet that black eye I gave you last time still hurts. Yes, I knew it was you. Why else would I touch Voldemort filth?" she told him. She held the envelope up for all to see.

"Deliver this, untouched to Severus Snape. It has a password-sealing spell, so you can't even read it." She set it on the table before her and put her arms behind her back in what she hoped looked like an impressive and commanding stance.

"Well. What is your decision, bastard?" she said the last word normal as if it were his name. "Speak up too, I'm having trouble seeing."

The had hit her eyes with a bad spell last time and she had yet to fully recover. She could not tell their expressions.

Lucius smiled behind his mask and let out a harsh laugh, "Easy enough. Snape," He said loud enough for Emerson to hear, "Go get your bloody letter so we can finish this."

Snape hesitated and was shoved forward by one of the Death Eaters. He forced his feet to move towards her and his face to remain blank and unreadable. He stopped a foot from where she stood and waited.

_She blinked. Is it really him? Not just some clever ruse? _Her face flooded with guilt. _Damn my faulty eyes. I let him get hurt_. She almost cried but was able to hold it back. She did looked awed by him...awed and saddened. She reached out to touch him but only came into contact with the barrier

_He needs the letter. Even if this is not really Severus, he could give it to him. _She dropped her arm and picked up the letter. She stood and took a step to where she was almost completely touching the barrier. She muttered a word and the wards dropped. She held out the letter in one hand and secretly grasped her wand with the other.

Snape watched her for a moment as she reached out for him, her hand being intercepted by her own barrier. He sadly watched her step forward, felt the buzzing of the wards dissipate. He clenched his jaw in anger; he knew she would die. If not tonight then tomorrow. He would be unable to do anything against it. He was one man against many others.

His hand reached out to take the letter and he said loud enough for only her to hear, "I can't stop them, Ana. They'll kill you." _She is so foolish! Why did she have to pull a stunt like this? She is an Auror! She had **known** they were coming for her even if he had not. She should have brought reinforcements! She should have just gone into hiding!_

She smiled faintly. It was all she could do as the tears spilled out.

"You can't kill the dead, Sevy."

_And I've been dead a long time_.

"But I would've been out of your hair a lot sooner if it weren't for this," she said as she handed him the letter.

"The password...it's pretty simple...three little words you said the first time we met. It took me a while to understand why you said it, but here and now, knowing what I know, I still disagree. And this is my argument." she told him softly.

"It is done, Lucius. You can kill me now. It would be easier on all of us. **I have erased my mind of any _useful_ information**." she told the blonde beast, smirking maliciously.

He bit back the automatic reply of _'don't call me that.' _and instead nodded his understanding. He did not smile as she did. His face remained as blank as before but his eyes went a bit mournful.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked softly. Despite his earlier mantra he could not hold back the pain of what the thought of her death brought. His chest ached and his throat felt tight. He had not seen her in four years. He had not spoken to her in even more time and yet he could not remain unaffected by all of this. He carefully took the envelope from her and winced when he heard her words to Lucius.

He still cared for her as much as he had in school. She had been his only friend in the world. His first friend and the only friend since. _He had missed her over the years._

He took a shuddering breath and his back went straight as he heard Lucius speak.

"How do I know you aren't' lying?" He growled at Ana.

"I would've already done it myself. I just wasn't sure this would ever really get to you." she was still smiling despite herself. She wanted so much to hug him but she thought that might hurt them both too much.

"You're an Occulemens, smart ass. You should have known." she told Lucius, but her eyes never left Snape's.

Snape snorted at her words to the blond, "He has not tried to get through. He is not close enough to have felt the wards go down"

She looked him over, the years had changed him. But she hadn't been there with him. _All because of my ignorance._

"The barrier is physical, not mental Sevy." she told him.

He wanted to reach out and touch her but too obvious of a move would not bode well with his 'team'. He held his hand out of view of the men behind him hoping she would take the hint.

"I am sorry." he said again, Lucius' voice slamming over them,

"Lets go Snape. Get over here." He sounded impatient.

Snape continued, "I don't know what to do." He felt unsure of himself, the feeling uncommon to him and equally unnerving. He hoped it didn't show.

She could not hold herself . She launched herself on him, wrapping her arms around his neck. _He probably wouldn't like me wetting his shirt_ she thought faintly.

He jumped slightly, shocked at the physical contact but not angry for it. He forgot for a moment about the men behind him and wrapped his arms around her hugging her tightly to him. He could feel her body shaking with sobs and wanted to make them go away but knew it was impossible.

He heard footsteps approaching and turned his head to see Lucius standing beside him with a raised eyebrow. His wand was an inch from Ana's head.

Snape closed his eyes for a moment and forced out, "Ana, I'm sorry" The words were interrupted halfway by a shouted, "Avada Kadavra!"

_So am I _was her last thought as she went slack in his arms. All that was left of her now was the parchment held tightly in his hands.

Snape barely registered his previous captors pulling Ana's slack body out of his arms. Heard a far off order for them to retreat. His feet were moving automatically towards the exit as if on auto pilot. Lucius was walking swiftly at his side. They were outside the pub. Now in the center of the street. He heard distant popping noises indicating apparations. He followed suit, turning in place and apparating out of Hogsmeade.

They apparated into the clearing where the meeting that evening had taken place. Ana's body was taken to Voldemort and the angry Dark Lord used Crucio on Lucius for disobeying orders. _He was not supposed to kill her. Lacking information or not. _The Death Eaters were dismissed shortly after.

The body disposed of.

Snape barely registered this at all and had apparated numbly to his home on Spinners End. He walked, more like stumbled into his bedroom and removed his outer Death Eater robe, placing it along with his mask into a trunk in his closet. He sat on his bed and stared at the letter clutched in his hand. He knew exactly which three words she had meant and muttered them quietly.

"Secrets are safe."

He felt a slight tingle in his hand and carefully opened the envelope. Then pulled the parchment from it's confinement, unfolding it slowly.

Dear Sevy,

You can not know how good it is to say that after all these years. I have thought of it plenty of times, of course, but never to you. Anyway the first thing I wish to tell you is sorry. Sorry for everything. For the world. It is all my fault.

I know the truth. I have ever since some Death Eater spilled her guts while mocking me in a fight. She got away though, which is a shame. I'm so sorry. If it were not for me you probably would have stayed the same old Severus I first met. You would have been safe. For everything I am sorry.

I'm half afraid this was **_meant_** to be. That I was **_supposed_** to break both our hearts.

I can't really think of the how to say the next thing. I never had you to help me, did I? So I leave you with one last thought.

It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

By the name of Annabel Lee-

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me.

She was a child and I was a child,

In this kingdom by the sea,

But we loved with a love that was more than love-

I and my Annabel Lee--

With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven

Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,

In this kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud by night

Chilling my Annabel Lee;

So that her high-born kinsman came

And bore her away from me,

To shut her up in a sepulcher

In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,

Went envying her and me-

Yes! that was the reason (as all men know,

In this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of a cloud, chilling

And killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love

Of those who were older than we--

Of many far wiser than we-

And neither the angels in Heaven above,

Nor the demons down under the sea,

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee-

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,

In her sepulcher there by the sea--

In her tomb by the side of the sea.

****

I love you, Severus Snape.

Yours until my Last dying breath,

****

Ana Elena Emerson

Severus folded the parchment with shaking fingers. Silent sobs wracking his body and tears falling from his eyes. He sat like that for what felt like days but must have only been a few moments before he stood on stiff legs. His shoulders were hunched slightly, so much different from his usually unwavering stance. He apparated for the second time that night to Hogsmead. He stood just outside the gate to Hogwarts School. He hardly noticed the distance from the gates to the Great Entrance and to the spot before the gargoyles guarding the Headmasters office.

He stood at the entrance for many moments before he registered that he did not know the password to gain entrance. He glanced around. It was late and no students were out of bed.

The gargoyles moved as if by their own violation. As Snape jerked his head to look a voice drifted down from the office.

"Come in, Severus."

Snape stepped onto the moving stairs and allowed them to carry him up to the Headmasters office. At the top he absently dragged his feet into the room, his eyes going to Dumbledore.

Dumbledore sat neatly behind his desk.

"I trust it has been done?" he asked as if he was in on the plan himself. He had guessed that she would offer her life up to the Death Eaters when she had came to him to check her memories. She wanted to know if they were completely gone, which they were. He took it as her final gift to the Order.

He nodded. So this was the man his Mas- Voldemort feared so? The Headmaster appeared to know so much. He met the mans eyes and went forward the necessary steps to stand before his desk. He was nervous. Dumbledore had never appeared so intimidating when Severus had been a student here.

"Then, why may I ask are you here? Shouldn't you be celebrating? You have just rid yourself of one of the Ministry's best Aurors and one of the leading members of an Anti-Voldemort society." he told him.

Another fatality. I will wait to send the message until later.

Dumbledore was pained. He was quite fond of the girl, to lose her was quite a loss indeed. But he wanted the man, though to his eyes he was still just a boy, to know the full price of Voldemort's success.

"Celebr-" he shook his head, "no." He corrected firmly. His eyes darted towards the paintings on the wall, past headmasters all watched him. Many looked disapproving, others down right furious. He noticed a painting of Godric Gryffindor shaking his head sadly at him. He tore his eyes away and back to the Headmasters,

"I don't want to do it." was all he said. His voice sounded broken. So unlike his usual calamity, "I cant get out."

"A man's only limits are those he builds himself. You can at least try, Severus. She would have wanted you to." The old man told him simply.

He shook his head

"I cant get out. He'll kill me." he tried to make him understand, "You don't just go up to the Dark Lord and say, 'Afternoon My Lord. Oh, I decided to quit, here's my Uniform. Can I put you on my resume for recommendations?'" he said sarcastically.

He nodded and listened, sympathetic despite the sarcasm in the boys voice.

"I knew better then to expect that. Voldemort craves obedience too much to lose a single follower to the enemy. But you don't have to tell him Severus. You can work against him in secrecy." he told him.

He stared at the bearded wizard, knowing immediately what the old man meant.

"You want me to spy." It was a statement not a question.

"But how do you expect me to relay information? Coming here now was risky enough. If anyone sees me coming here more than once they'll be suspicious, to say the least."

"Well, we have a position available. The job of potions master has yet to be filled. In all the years I have known you, I have found you have had only two loves. You already lost one tonight, you don't have to lose the other." he said, cryptic as usual

"Teaching?" If he remembered correctly all the professors to teach at Hogwarts had been beyond their forties. Surely 22 is a bit young for a professor? But the thought of working with potions for a job sounded pleasurable. A thought occurred to him,

"What of Lord Voldemort?" He asked, "If he discovers I am working at Hogwarts, surely he would order me to relay information to him." He pointed out, "It is no secret, sir, that he wishes you dead."

He smiled. "He wishes many people dead. It is no special thing to be wished. And as for Voldemort...You can relay any information you want back to him, especially the kind that is false. In fact it might work for our benefit. He might confide in you more if you were to take such a bold step for his cause.

"But it is entirely up to you. To remind us of our hands, what was your purpose coming here tonight?"

He felt like a first year caught out after hours and being ordered to explain himself,

"I just wanted-" He tried to think of words to continue. He resisted the urge to shuffle his feet, "I thought you could help, Sir. He fears you." He did not need to explain who 'He' was. The man knew bloody well who he meant.

"You could…. You could help me." He finished lamely and wanted to kick himself for how imbecilic he sounded.

"Help you with what?" he asked though he already half-knew the answer. He wanted to hear him say it. He wanted proof. That was all he needed to regain the man's trust. Once those words were in the open, there would be no doubt in his mind he could trust Snape

"Help me to atone...for Ana." He said quietly, meeting the Headmasters gaze.

There was a sparkle in the mans eyes. _There it is_.

"You have yourself a job, Severus"


End file.
